when i was a little girl i loved dressing up (and forcing my brother to too). from princesses to pirates we made our childhood fantasies come to life. you see, i grew up watching cinderella on repeat. i especially loved the part where the fairy godmother came and transformed her and brought her to her prince. from the age of 6 i remember dreaming of my own prince one day. he would be strong, but gentle; he would be handsome, but humble. don’t you know the dreams of little girls are the secrets to our hearts?
fastforward to present day. i’m 21. i’m a college graduate. i’m single. naturally, my relationship status gets a lot of attention from “concerned” family members & fellow church go-ers. when asked the question of why i don’t have a boyfriend, it takes literal physical restraint to not roll my eyes. the lyrics of ella mae singing i’m holding out for a hero also tend to filter through my head.
in today’s (christian) world i often feel like people treat my singleness like a disease that they need to cure with set-ups, advice, etc. they act like my singleness is some type of punishment from God that i’m forced to endure until “the right one comes along.” Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7: 32 [MSG], that “I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master.” NEWSFLASH PEOPLE, Paul is telling us that our singleness is a gift. It provides us freedom to completely worship the Lord without any complications or distractions. God is not punishing us, He is giving us a sacred opportunity or a season to have complete focus on him without the pressure of trying to please and love a spouse.
yes i think marriage is a beautiful thing. i desire to one day be able to experience it. however, as a church we have got to stop acting like marriage is a final destination in life. God doesn’t say to himself ok she’s married, I’m done with her. think about in your own church. how much time is spent on ministry to married couples vs singles? while sure strengthening godly marriages is important, i often find ministry to christian singles is lacking.
now let’s talk about contentment. if you read my blog post about waiting, then you know that i think our task in waiting (on whatever your desire) is to follow the instruction given in Romans 12:12. this same principle applies in our singleness. while waiting on a spouse (if that’s what you desire) you should be at all times joyful, patient, and faithful.
i also think we find contentment in our singleness when we fully surrender our future (marriage, babies, job, and all) to Christ. realizing that nothing but Jesus can satisfy your soul, is a reminder to all us single people that marriage does not and CAN NOT complete us. only Jesus can do that. christian women let’s please stop seeking marriage or a “godly” relationship with the intention that these things will fix the condition of our damaged and worldly hearts.
so, let’s make the most of our singleness. stop waiting to live until you’re married. live now. be content with the person God created you to be. pursue your passions. spread kindness. show love. seek Christ with your whole heart, and one day my friends we may find the one God set us apart for.
dear future husband. i am content in my waiting for you. no rush, i believe in the plan God has for us.
“The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him.”
You ain’t gotta rush love, girl, slow down,
When you meet him you gon’ know, wanna know how?
He’s gonna treat you right,
Make you the queen of life,
If he don’t then I’m a take ‘em out,
Psyche, all kidding aside God has the perfect,
One that was made for you, designed to worship,
God and He sees your beauty and true purpose,
So baby sis, trust the process, it’s worth it. ——- Jamie Grace, Just a Friend
also p.s. flowers make my heart happy.
be blessed sweet friends.